DIV2 SCRIBE

SUCCESS FOR THE BLUE AND GOLD
21.9.2012

In a Grand Final for the archives, Bulleen Templestowe weathered three, fourth term lead changes to claim the 2012 Division 2 Premiership.
As the final siren echoed across Central Reserve drawing the season to a close, it was a mere 2 points that would spell the difference between back-to-back premierships for Prahran and unparalleled elation for the Bullants. 
A home and away ledger of two-0 in Bulleen’s favour and a flawless finals campaign to date had many predicting a comfortable Bullant victory.
What ensued was anything but.
 Near perfect conditions greeted the players as they ran onto the ground, and it would be Bulleen that drew first blood almost immediately after the first bell through a Peter Voglis snap, his first of four for the afternoon. 
In contrast to the opening minute, both sides took a cautious and defensive approach to the opening stanza, the ball spending most of the first quarter pin balling between half back lines. Blayne Dempsey from Prahran and Russell Course from Bulleen the benefactors, both with at least 10 touches in the first.
In what would transpire as an agonizing tale of the day, both sides missed easy opportunities in front of goal, the usually deadeye Kristian Cherbakof failing to convert after a 25-metre penalty and Ryan Pascoe unable to finish off his work from a sensational pack mark. 
While Blayne Dempsey continued to rack up possessions at will across the backline, it was little known Jesse Wilson who started to draw the fanfare of the Bulleen following. Given the daunting task to run with James Musster for the afternoon, the teenager took on the request with aplomb, comprehensively taking the points in a unanimous decision. His victory typified when he ran the Musster down twice on opposing wings in the second term, both resulting in Bulleen forward 50 entries. 
Prahran, seemingly perturbed by the low scoring first half opened the game up early in the third quarter, goals to Sleight and Simpson extending their lead to 19 points. However it was once again, the speedster Jesse Wilson who had the Bulleen faithful salivating, using his blistering pace to break the lines and set up the first of Anthony Lucisano’s goals. A quick snap out of a goal-square scrum two minutes later would give Lucisano his second in as many minutes and bring the margin back to five points. 
Moments before the third quarter time siren, Cherbakof, Wilson and Voglis teamed up for another major, swinging the deficit in Bulleen’s favour in the process.
Despite Bulleen’s Paul Florence charging through the centre and sending the ball inside 50 from the opening bounce, it was Prahran through Ash Parsons who drew first blood, a shot on the run from 45 sending the Prahran following behind the goals into a frenzy. 
When Adam Sleight (seemingly aware of his ancient hamstrings), passed off to Adam Simpson who in turn converted, you’d be forgiven for thinking the contest was over. 
The Bulleen Templestowe that usually conquer teams without an ounce of mercy, albeit briefly, were replaced with 22 fumbling impersonators, the weight of the occasion appearing to take its toll.
By his lofty standards, Florance had been quieter than usual throughout the day. Bumped from centre stage by players in the ilk of Edsall, Morris and Azer, his sublime skills and strong overhead marks went almost unsighted.
With their ability to turn a game off their own boots, players and fans alike, looked to their leaders as they have on so many previous occasions. Florance, Edsall and Cherbakof dutifully responded with a herculean performance. 
Goals to the aforementioned Florence and Khouri saw another lead change, this time it would be unassailable. 
Prahran weren’t without their chances, Sleight and Donahoo both failing to capitalise on easy chances. The misses painfully compounded when Peter Voglis sent the eventual match winner home from 45 out on the boundary.
With 60 seconds to go, to the continuous roar of the crowd, the game managed to find a final gear. The intensity from all 44 players was unparalleled. Players with nothing left to give gave everything.
And when Cherbakof desperately forced and error deep in defence and somehow scrambled the ball for a rushed behind, fittingly it was apparent that Bulleen would win. It was a fitting finale to an amazing game, and an amazing season from Bulleen Templestowe.
When the final siren rang, there was a Bulleen shot on goal and as such the instant elation or dismay (depending which camp you hail from) you’d be struggling to find a coach, a player or a spectator who could tell you the result of the final kick of the day. 
Bulleen have won premierships before, and they’ll win them again. But after such an excruciating 2011, I suspect this may be the best of them all.

From opposite ends of the spectrum
15.9.2012
Separated by an entire division, the 2011 seasons of Bulleen Templestowe and Prahran Assumption couldn’t have been further apart. 
In Division 1, a 50-point thrashing from Williamstown CYMS would draw a close to Bulleen Templestowe’s worst season in the club’s illustrious history. A solitary win against Old Mentonians standing out among a sea of 100-point thrashings and scoreless quarters. 
The very real prospect of Bulleen Templestowe completing the maligned “Double Drop” in 2012 seemed all but inevitable. 
Meanwhile, down in Division 3, a formidable alliance formed in a dusty boardroom the previous year had paid immediate dividends. The amalgam of Prahran Football Club and Assumption College completing a rare flawless season, capped off with the 2012 division 3 premiership flag. 
In 2012, the clubs would meet in round 1, one club mounting a realistic challenge to play Division 1 football while the other on the brink of absolute catastrophe. 
Despite an entire division separating the two the previous year, little hope was given to the former Division 1 inhabitants, almost all (this scribe included) predicting a Prahran-Assumption Win.   
What ensued was anything but predictable; Bulleen Templestowe, seemingly in a declaration of their disgust from the previous season, annihilated the Two-Blues by 92 points, putting the competition on notice in the process. 
While Prahran-Assumption would recuperate from their round 1 and subsequent round 2 losses to (the now relegated) Emmaus St Leo’s, their perceived pre-season hype and dominance had been diluted, their early season form a mere shadow of their 2011 brilliance.  
In contrast to Prahran-Assumption’s brutal Division 2 hazing, the Bullants had a fairytale start, a loss to Old Paradians the only blemish in the first 9 rounds of the season. The perceived inevitability of a “double drop” replaced with a far more positive notion, colloquially known as the “yo-yo” in VAFA circles. Bulleen Templestowe seemed destined to rejoin their Division 1 counterparts after a brief hiatus.
And as it so often does, the season flashed before our very eyes, Bulleen rounding out the regular season in the same fashion it started, a 91-point victory over La Trobe University, a pleasant yet unexpected turnaround from just a meagre 12 months ago.
A shock loss to South Melbourne, and a pair of defeats at the hands of Old Paradians the only blights on an otherwise extremely successful season. Bulleen’s Semi Final against Eltham would be a mere formality, on paper, on history and on form, victory was assured for the men in yellow and blue. A comfortable 59-point victory the outcome.
On the other end of the spectrum, Prahran-Assumption’s gruelling finals campaign has been anything but a formality, forced to come from behind in both matches to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Unfamiliar to the current playing group the two bouts will have undoubtedly taken there toll, both mentally, and physically. 
Encumbered with success is expectation, an assertion typified with the VAFA’s relegation/promotion system. This Saturday two teams meet, one club entered the competition on the back of its most successful year since it’s inception in 1886 while the other joined Division 2 after it’s worst. 
Yet despite the two incredibly differing previous seasons, both presumably with contrasting expectations for season 2012, Bulleen Templestowe and Prahran Assumption have earned their spot in the last game of the season and earned their spot in Division 1 in 2013.
Bulleen Templestowe VS Prahran Assumption
The ledger stands at 2-0 in Bulleen’s favour, a record that rightfully should tick over to 3-0 at 5:00 PM on Sunday. 
While Prahran get a few ticks in their column, namely Bulleen’s fragile defence and Adam Sleight’s size 14 boots, they simply don’t have the arsenal to account for Bulleen’s midfield and forward line.
Prahran-Assumption have undisputedly the second best midfield in the competition, Musster and Parsons on their day, are unstoppable. However unfortunately for the Two-Blues, Bulleen-Templestowe have the best midfield. Paul Florance has been in incredible form over the past 6 weeks and has the ability to turn a game in his favour unassisted. Stick Cherbakof in there and it’s a David versus Goliath battle.  
Bulleen by 36 points.
That’s all folks, enjoy the 6 weeks off before the hill sprints, time trials and push-ups resume and we do this all again. Any Pre-Season signings, news and banter for 2013 send to [email protected] and follow me at @Richie_Humm in the off season for all things Division 2 2013. P

8.9.2012

Oh what a lovely day
Much like the sun soaked day that greeted us on opening day way back in April, the remnants of the long, miserable winter made way for beautiful opening day of Spring. Fortunately for Eltham, Bulleen and Prahran, a similar weather pattern is forecast for our 2 remaining Saturday’s of the season. For Old Paradians, the blooming flowers and the unfamiliar tingle of sunlight on ones neck would be a double edged sword, their season coming to an expected, yet abrupt halt.   
Despite the notable size difference in grounds, the windy conditions at Central Reserve would play into Old Paradians type football, a season spent on the smaller, grassless Garvey Oval putting them in good stead for a low-scoring, defensive game. 
Kicking against the breeze in the first, Old Paradians drew first blood, setting the scene for at least the first half, strangling the two-blues and forcing them wide. A return of 1 goal, 8 behinds their just reward. 
Trailing by 16 points at the half, the crowd were treated to the competition conquering two-blues we’ve all become accustomed to over the past 2 years, erasing the deficit, and then creating their own 8 point lead at the final change. 
With momentum, and as expected, the two blues were unstoppable, despite kicking into a stiff breeze, they pulled away. Efforts from Dempsey, Simpson, Musster and Sleight simply sensational, steering Prahran-Assumption to their yet another preliminary final.
For Old Paradians, gracious in defeat it was Angelo Rendina, Sean Miller and David Strantzen that stood tall and performed admirably. 
Across the pond, the contest was not as rigorously fought, Bulleen Templestowe annihilating Eltham by 59 points. 
Squashing calls that the minor premiers had been in a form slump leading up to the finals, the Bullants lead from the first bounce, the usual suspects in Florance, Khouri and Chaerbakof dominating. 
Keeping Eltham goalless in the second quarter, and with a handy 30 point buffer, Bulleen went on to further extend their lead, sending a frightening message to either Prahran or Eltham in the process. 
Joining the aforementioned in the best for Bulleen Templestowe was Rob Edsall and Daniel Dynon while for Eltham Johnny Laver, Matthew Crooks and Ryan Foo who deserve a mention.
Old Eltham Collegians VS Prahran Assumption 
 The famous idiom reads “6 of one, half a dozen of another” and while I’m stretching it’s application here, and forgive me for using a cliché, I guess it applies.
Prahran belted Eltham early in the season and then Eltham dutifully repaid the favour, handing out their own belting to the two-blues. Can’t split them here.
Prahran-Assumption were victorious in their final, albeit to a weaker opponent while Eltham were belted by a far superior one. Still no difference.
Adam Sleight kicked 68 goals for the season, Sab Ciavola 69. Aha, we have one!
I’m selecting Eltham, based purely on the fact that Sab kicked one extra goal than his full-forward counterpart in Adam Sleight!

1.9.2012
A SWAN SONG
With the ladder squared away coming into the final round, round 18 acted as a swan song for six sides and a vehicle for experimental game plans for four clubs. 
Continuing their incredible record at East Caulfield Reserve, the Gryphons surprised Old Paradians by 38 points, Kye Cherien was sensational with three goals for the Gryphs while Daniel Spitty was back to his scintillating best for the travelling side. With the scalps of Prahran, Eltham, and now Old Paradians to their name, there was a chorus of relief that Monash won’t be competing in this year’s finals series. 
In another surprise upset, it was the battle of the spear heads at Ferndale Park, James Rogers kicking seven for St Mary’s, only to be matched by eight majors from Therry Penola’s Carey Bannister. Unfortunately for the Lions, the eight wouldn’t be enough, going down by 17. Joining Rogers in the best for the Saints was Heath Chipperfield and team of the year wingman David West while for Therry, Mitchell Trimble and Mark Faroldi were suitable sidekicks for Bannister. 
While he may be putting on a brave face, whispers coming from Prahran-Assumption are that Adam Sleight is absolutely gutted that Sab Ciavola pinched the leading goal kicker award from his weathered dukes on Saturday. So much so, to avoid further heartbreak, is floating a change in codes to the round ball next year. Nonetheless, the skipper was sensational on Saturday as he and his lads dismantled the now demoted Emmaus St Leos. Blayne Dempsey and Dale Battett impressed the Prahran faithful and likewise Timothy McCann and the petite Paul Barranello for Emmaus St Leo’s. 
In near identical circumstances to their demoted counterparts, La Trobe found the going tough against the minor premiers in Bulleen Templestowe. Using the game to finetune their tactics for the subsequent finals, the tenacious running and delicate foot skills, now synonymous with Bulleen Templestowe were at the fore, impressing the strong crowd in lovely conditions. Kristian Cherbakof demonstrated why he is one of the most highly touted players in the competition while David Florance stepped out of his namesake in David with a best afield performance. For La Trobe, it was David Hacker and Stuart Patten that impressed. 
Despite leaving Eltham without the points, South Melbourne continued their purple patch of form, managing to stay within an arms reach of Eltham throughout the match. As mentioned, Seb Ciavola was sensational, kicking 5, earning him best afield honours and the competition goal kicking award and was assisted by Tim Woods and Bryan Galvin. For the Bloods, Gary Simm, Charles McKay and Elliot Costello all stood tall. 
Bulleen Templestowe vs Old Eltham Collegians
Boasting names in the ilk of Florance, Cherbakof and Khouri, Bulleen Templestowe undoubtedly have the ammunition to go all the way in 2012. While stopping Ciavola, Galvin and Richardson is no easy task, they’ve done it twice before this season, and they will do it again on Saturday, earning a place in the big dance and a week’s rest. 
Prahran Assumption vs Old Paradians 
Along with South Melbourne Old Paradians are the only side to have knocked Bulleen off, however their form couldn’t have been worse coming into the finals series. Last week suffering a crippling defeat at the hands of the lowly placed Monash Gryphons. Although Paradians have the assets, to stop Sleight, players like Musster and Parsons will prove too difficult. Prahran Assumption to win easily here.  
TIPS
Bulleen
Prahran
25.8.2012
Home and Away is done
Before the opening bounce of round 1, the ladder is but a mere, insignificant spreadsheet. Organised in alphabetical order and peppered with zeros, it’s as a canvas for the season’s dreams and aspirations.
At seasons end, now populated with wins, losses, points and percentage, it has the ability to spell devastation for two clubs while simultaneously providing elation for four. 
While an exciting final round can still see sides in the top 4 swapping positions, unfortunately for the rest of the competition, this week is a dead rubber, playing for pride, not points. 
Not unusual for this time of year, nostalgia begins to take over, and while our reader base is at 100%, I thought it would be appropriate to use this time to present this year’s Division 2 Team of the Year. 
Like in all Team of the Years selected since the dawn of time, it’s impossible to achieve a 100% consensus on the side. The below players have not been picked just on what I have seen this season, but a culmination of responses from the wider Division 2 following. 
Division 2 2012
Forward pocket Full forward    Forward pocket
Chris Beluszar  (St Leo) Sab Ciavola (Elt) Stuart Patten (La Trobe)

Half forward flank Half forward    Half Forward Flank
Paul Florence(BT) Adam Sleight (PA) Adam Richardson (Elt)

Wing Centre         Wing
Kye Cherien (Mon) Paul Baranello(St Leo)    David West (SMS)

Half Back Flank Half Back    Half Back Flank
Jarrod Egglestone (TP) Carl Joyce (LTU) David Boundy (OP)

Back Pocket Full Back    Back Pocket
Sam Whiteside (Elt) Jack Matherson (PA)    Lee Wells (Mon)

Rucks: Matthew Mashette (SMS), Kristian Cherbakof(BT), Matt Costello (TP)

Interchange: Matthew Fletcher (Mon), Elliot Costello(SM), James Muster(PA), Seb Mahoney(SM)

Looking ahead to this week, the last game of the season for six of our beloved clubs, I’m tipping Monash will give Old Paradians a pre-finals touch up at ECR. Surely the Monash coaching staff will plonk someone on Boundy this time around! 
Despite an incredible turn of form, South Melbourne will be no match for Eltham, although expect to see a different Eltham line up this week . 
Therry Penola should account for a relieved St Mary’s Salesian at Ferndale park. 
Bulleen Templestowe will give La Trobe University their Division 2 swan song however given mathematically they could still lose top spot, will want to put the students away. 
Likewise at Toorak Park, Emmaus St Leos will play a farewell game to the Division at Toorak Park, the result will probably fall the same way their season has, miserably.
Thank you to all clubs departing this weekend for your help and contributions. Good luck in the offseason and as we get to the pointy end of the season the excitement couldn’t be any greater. 
Follow me on Twitter: @Richie_Humm for all things Division 2
TIPS
Monash Gryphons
Eltham
Therry Penola
 Bulleen Temp

18.8.2012
TOP 4 ALL SET?
With only two rounds remaining until the finals campaign begins for the top four sides in Division 2, it is fair to say that the current top four sides have certainly cemented their spot in the finals leaving the other six sides to reel over the missed opportunities and what could have been in season 2012. The bottom six will hope to gain some confidence with victories in their last two matches, and will also start to look forward and prepare for season 2013. Last weekend’s results saw a few close and surprise encounters in the matches across the section with tenth placed La Trobe University gaining some confidence in their last few games with a victory over South Melbourne Districts by seven points with Stuart Patten and Jack McMeel kicking five and four a piece, whilst Adam Curwood put in another strong performance for the Uni. 
Therry Penola travelled out to Assumption College to take on third placed Prahran Assumption and weren’t disappointing as they came to play, and to only be beaten by 15 points is a credit to them.  John Robbins was best for Prahran Assumption, whilst Andrew Doyle for the Lions. 
In the match of the round ladders leaders Bulleen Templestowe and Old Eltham Collegians battled it out for bragging rights. The turtles lost there round eight encounter by 44 points, but significantly showed how they had improved only losing by 25 points this round and could possibly play the Ants in the second semi final in a few weeks time to get redemption. 
An inaccurate St Mary’s Salesian (5.16) who no doubt ably looking forward to the seasons end were disappointing as they suffered a major defeat against Old Paradians by 11 goals on their home turf. Stefan Gutts and Henry Wong were the highlight for the Saints, whilst Daniel Giddings and David Boundy for the Paradians had a field day in front of the sticks kicking four and three respectively as they continued their outstanding goal kicking form in season 2012. 
Ninth placed Emmaus St Leo’s put in a great contest and despite the loss against Monash Gryphons by 16 points there were some positive signs with Nic Robin and Ronan Stafford putting in great performances in a losing side.
This week there will be a few interesting games. Emmaus St Leos and St Mary’s Salesian go into battle as a possible relegation match, and I believe Saints will pull through with the goods on the day. Fourth placed Old Paradians take on ladder leaders Bulleen Templestowe who will be too strong for the Paradians at Garvey Oval, likewise in the Therry Penola and Old Eltham match I don’t see Therry matching Old Eltham’s strong outfit. Prahran Assumption will be too strong for La Trobe University, who despite getting the four points last week haven’t had the best of seasons and finally the Gryphs will be too good for the Districts.

TIPS
ST MARYS
BULLEEN TEMPLESTOWE
OLD ELTHAM
PRAHRAN ASSUMPTION
MONASH GRYPHONS

11.8.2012
Changing of the guard
The Mailey’s ladder predictor got off to a flyer in its inaugural run, predicting all but the shock conquering of Bulleen Templestowe, a result that could potentially have devastating affects to both ends of the ladder. 
After sitting at the head of the competition for the entire season, the all conquering Bullants could find themselves in 2nd as soon as this week.
Meanwhile, at the less glorious end of the ladder, South Melbourne, who developed an incredibly strong relationship with La Trobe this season looking destined for relegation, have all but secured their presence in Division 2 next season with a barnstorming few weeks. 
A Ciavola guided Eltham dismantled St Leo’s midway through the first term, put the icing on the cake in the second, and took their foot of the pedal in the last half, saving the hamstrings, calf’s and wrists for the impending finals series. With the game over at quarter time, some unusual suspects found their way into the best, Ryan Foo, Ricky Mydlar and Johnny Laver all putting in strong performances. For the Animals, in the second half it was Dave Mahony and the unsung Baranello in Nathan that stood tall. 
South Melbourne districts claimed arguably their biggest scalp of the season, knocking off a wavering Bulleen Templestowe by 39 points, instilling hope in Eltham, Prahran and Old Paradians in the process. Leading by nine points at the last break, the Bloods faithful could be forgiven for reviving the harrowing memories the last time the two clubs met. However, in contrast to the round 9 result, South Melbourne pulled away, piling on 6 goals to 1 in a spectacular final term. Toby Parish with 4 goals and Josh Lambert were sensational for the Bloods while for Bulleen it was Daniel Tonelli, David Dakin and a lot of soul searching. 
The Monash Gryphons kept their incredibly slender final hopes alive with a resounding win over Therry Penola, the result leapfrogging the Gryphs into 5th, albeit by the smallest of percentage differentials. With so much on the line for both teams, courage was at the fore, typified by a brutal but fair collision between two hard nuts, (thankfully the subsequent ambulance was a precaution and the young lad from Therry is doing well.) After the restart, it was all Monash, led by Daniel McConville and the once fancied, now maligned Sam Sheehan the Gryphs strolled home as comfortable 31-point victors. For the Lions, Jason Mcmahon, Phillip Ross and James Egglestone all lead from the front. 
For those of you that grew up playing AFL live on your favourite gaming console, you’ll no doubt be familiar with the games inability to announce margins over about 75 points. Once you’ve hit that threshold, after every goal all you’ll hear from Dennis Commetti is “Hawthorn by a great margin” or “Essendon leads by plenty”. Well, had Dennis donated his highly sought voice to the St Mary’s Salesian-Prahran/Assumption clash, the aforementioned catch phrase would have undoubtedly be invoked, Prahran running out by a lot. Adam Sleight, his aging body still preventing him from his scintillating best, was sensational, slotting 6 while Johnny Robbins chipped in with a cheeky Michelle. For the Saints, who tried all day despite the mounting margin, were lead by Nick Baum and Heath Chipperfield. 
In another belting on the other side of town, Old Paradians annihilated La Trobe by 68 points, my man David Boundy slotting 7. In a peculiar first quarter, owing to the tough conditions of Garvey Oval, only one goal was kicked and it was by the students. After the first break, order was restored, Old Paradians dominating ‘til the final bell.  Skip Boundy was joined by Daniel Giddings and Sean Miller in the best while for La Trobe, Grant Dowler, David Hacker and Elliot Kelly stood tall. 
Looking towards to a ripper of a round 16, Therry Penola make the arduous journey at to Assumption college, unfortunately for the Lions, the drive home will be twice as bad, a hefty defeat and no chance of finals will accompany them as they meander their way back down the Hume. Monash Gryphons went down to the Animals last time they met, but it won’t happen again this week, with their fortress like home ground and the slim chance of finals, they should account for them easily. St Mary’s will host Old Paradians and will be gallant in defeat as they always are while South Melbourne can officially save themselves from relegation with a hefty win over La Trobe. Closing out the round, Eltham will pinch top spot against the wavering Bulleen Temp. 

TIPS

Eltham 
South Melbourne
Prahran Assumption
Monash Gryphons
Old Paradians

4.8.12
Maileys Ladder Predictor 

For those who support an AFL club vying for a finals berth, you’ll undoubtedly be familiar with the Baileys Ladder Predictor. Each week you register your supposedly unbiased selections for the remaining rounds and the clever computer spits out the ladder should those results eventuate. 
Last week I went on search for a suitable sponsor to develop our very own Division 2 ladder predictor, and thankfully, Maileys ladders (found in two hardware stores across East Gippsland) came to the fore.
While our ladder has some minor deficiencies namely it’s ability to calculate percentage, I’m proud to present its inaugural run.  
Below are my tips in bold. 
Round 15
Eltham Collegians VS Emmaus St Leo’s
St Mary’s Salesian VS Prahran Assumption
Old Paradians VS La Trobe University 
Monash Gryphons VS Therry Penola
Bulleen Templestowe VS South Melbourne Districts 
Round 16
Prahran Assumption VS Therry Penola 
Monash Gryphons VS Emmaus St Leos
St Mary’s Salesian VS Old Paradians
La Trobe University VS South Melbourne Districts
Bulleen Templestowe VS Eltham Collegians 
Round 17
Emmaus St Leos VS St Mary’s Salesian
Old Paradians VS Bulleen Templestowe
Therry Penola VS Eltham Collegians
La Trobe University VS Prahran Assumption
South Melbourne Districts VS Monash Gryphons 
Round 18
Monash Gryphons VS Old Paradians
Eltham Collegians VS South Melbourne Districts 
St Mary’s Salesian VS Therry Penola 
Bulleen Templestowe VS La Trobe University 
Prahran Assumption VS Emmaus St Leos 
So assuming that in a bizarre set of circumstances percentage remains the same, this is what my Maileys ladder predictor looks like. 

Bulleen Templestowe 68 185.18
Eltham Collegians  56  171.31
Prahran-Assumption  56 129.51
Old Paradians  48 115.72 
Monash Gryphons  40 103.05
Therry Penola  36 108.83
South Melbourne  18 83.84
St Mary’s Salesian  18 56.69
Emmaus St Leos 16 67.66
La Trobe University  4  53.34 

If the ladder was to finish like this, La Trobe and Emmaus St Leo’s will plunge to the dark depths of Division 3 while Bulleen, Eltham, Prahran and Paradians will march on, albeit one side just for a mere week.
Games to Watch
While the top 4 appears to be set in stone, (Prahran and Eltham swapping places the only conceivable change) the relegation battle is far more riveting. The following 2 games are a must see for any Division 2 follower. 
Monash Gryphons VS Emmaus St Leos – Round 16
St Mary’s will unquestionably have club officials at this one, mobile phone in hand and relaying each and every goal back to Ferndale Park. The animals raised their colours when the two last met and with a spell in Div 3 on the line, you couldn’t be blamed for tipping them. I’ve selected Monash in the predictor, but a St Leo’s win would see them scurrying out of the red zone and St Mary’s dropping down.
Emmaus St Leos VS St Mary’s Salesian – Round 17
Although they knocked Old Paradians off in round 1 it’s highly unlikely that St Mary’s can do it again in round 16 so regardless of the outcome of the St Leo’s versus Monash game the week prior, this game will be pitted as “The Relegation Game.” With tough games to follow in round 18 for both sides, you’d imagine the contrasting fates of the two teams will be all but decided by game’s end. 
Whatever the results and whatever the outcome, the brutal preseason’s, the Friday night curfews and the jarred fingers from the past five months is certain to culminate in an almighty battle at both ends of the ladder. 

Tips: 
Eltham Collegians VS Emmaus St Leo’s
St Mary’s Salesian VS Prahran Assumption
Old Paradians VS La Trobe University 
Monash Gryphons VS Therry Penola
Bulleen Templestowe VS South Melbourne Districts 

28.7.12
SHOCKWAVES
It’s taken 18 rounds and 15 soft tissue injuries but La Trobe have finally lost their maiden status for 2012. In a result that will send shockwaves through their relegation threatened counterparts, the students put together a sensational second half to reduce, then obliterate a 5 goal deficit. As it has so many times before, La Trobe meandered into the quarter time huddle, down 5 and without a hope, memories of the resilient efforts of the past few weeks from La Trobe fading quicker than the coverage of grass at Bennettswood Sports Ground. At the huddle, Coach Stuart Patten, in an (explicit-free) audible address implored his Calvary to rally, a request dutifully acknowledged by Carl Joyce, kicking 6 in the best game of his career, Elliot Kelly and Jack McMeel, the students almost unstoppable until the final bell. For St Leo’s, Paul Baranello reignited calls that he should have been included in the top 7 with another outstanding performance and Nic Robin impressed the faithful.
Following a stint of near misses and 1st half capitulations, Bulleen Templestowe seem to have recaptured their early season form with a 117 point belting over an injury savaged St Mary’s Salesian. An early lead to St Mary’s had harrowing memories of the past month, and possibly last season creep into the minds of the Bulleen following, however a 5 goal burst in a 12 minute period would soon quash any doubt. After the first break, it was all Bulleen, the old firm in Khouri, Cherbakof and Florance at the forefront of the Saint pummelling. St Mary’s were kept in good stead by David West and Nick Baum but the unseasonably warm temperatures, large ground and superior opponent would prove too much for the young Saints.
Old Paradians solidified a two game clearance on the fourth rung with a comfortable victory of aspiring finalist Therry Penola at John Pascoe Reserve. Holding a slender lead at the first break, Paradians pulled out the stops, running out eventual winners by 56 points. My man David Boundy took heed of his own address, finishing with a Michelle, yet selflessly keeping himself out of the best. Matthew Derham and Sean Miller joined him in the best while for Therry, Ben Harding, Matty Costello, and Big Andy Doyle fought hard all day.
Around the traps of Division 2 football, the term “Yo-Yo” has been coined to help illustrate Monash’s remarkable spectrum of form. Last season, the Gryphons were notorious for taking large scalps, but then the very next week, turning over to a side residing in the gloomy depths of the ladder. This season has been no different, while boasting victories against Prahran-Assumption and now Eltham, you can also add a loss to St Leo’s and a narrow victory to La Trobe. Fortunately on Saturday, the Gryphs were in the “up-stroke” of a Yo-Yo pattern, accounting for a ferocious and highly drilled Eltham. Despite Ciavola’s 4 goals, Brendan Murphy was sensational in his first game in the seniors and captain courageous Matty Fletcher led from the front, the only way he knows how. 
An inaccuracy plagued last term saved South Melbourne from a humiliating defeat at the hands of Prahran-Assumption, the 44 points separating the two sides a flattering score line for the Bloods. Amid a season of carrying the forward line on his broad yet weathered shoulders, Adam Sleight’s plea’s for a partner in crime were answered, Jack Matherson drifting forward, taking a hoard of contested marks and finishing with 2 goals. Not to be outdone by his new younger brother, Sleight slotted a lazy 7 while Tim Maya chipped in with 3. For South Melbourne it was Steven Aquilina in his 75th best afield and Finn Tiernan that diluted the pain. 
Ahead to this week, South Melbourne host St Mary’s in an incredible important fixture. Not only are the two scrambling to the surface to avoid relegation, South Melbourne are celebrating their 100th year as a club. Marked with a function of 600 people and the likes of Roy Cazaly and Keith Forbes likely to be inducted to the hall of fame, it makes for a cracker of an evening. I’m tipping the Bloods to rise to the occasion. 
Elsewhere, Bulleen Templestowe should make like work of Emmaus St Leo’s, however their early season form as unquestionably been diluted and anything could happen. Therry will continue to press for finals, knocking off La Trobe, leaving their winning streak at a modest one. In the two games of the round, I’m selecting Eltham to bounce back with victory over Paradians and Monash, continuing in the upward movement of a “Yo-Yo” spin will knock off Prahran, blowing the finals race wide open in the process. 

TIPS
South Melbourne
Bulleen Templestowe
Therry Penola
Eltham
Monash Gryphons

21.7.12

AND THEN THERE WERE SIX
With only six rounds left until the real deal, the Division 2 season is shaping up to have a stellar finish with the top six sides all still in contention to get into the four and to have a real crack come September. It is anyone’s game. 
Old Eltham continued on their winning ways with a 51 point win against third placed Prahran Assumption, Sabastian Ciavola was strong up forward for the Turtles booting six goals, whilst Daniel Anglin was best on for the two blues. There was some interesting looks from players and spectators alike when an extra player came onto the ground in the second quarter – read more about that in For The Love Of The Game. 
In the clash of the bottom four, La Trobe travelled out to Ferndale Park to take on seventh placed St Mary’s Salesian in the hope of knocking up their first win for season 2012. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case and La Trobe was sent packing with another 22 point defeat and the hope of getting a four point victory in the remaining weeks. Sidney Jones and David West were reliable all day for the yellow and black, Jack McNeel, and Carl Joyce were best for Latrobe.
David Boundy’s Old Paradians are finding form at the right time and although they were made to work against Emmaus St Leo’s they would have been happy to secure the four points and maintain a game break from the chasing pair of Therry Penola and Monash Gryphons. Daniel Giddings kicked for majors and the captain coach kicked three as Parade won by 31 points. 
South Melbourne Districts hosted Therry Penola at Lindsay Hassett Oval and they were very accommodating hosts. South failed to register a major for the first three quarters and in that time Therry piled on 14.11. Matthew Costello and Justin Crotty kicked four each for the winners, as they went on to win by 96 points and keep the pressure on the top four. Therry are just a game and 2% behind Old Paradians now with six games to play. Both sides face each other this week but more on that later. 
It seems no one can stop Bulleen Templestowe as they continue to put together a formidable season. Monash Gryphons went to Ted Ajani Reserve hoping for an upset and they got off to the perfect start. They led the locals by 10 points at quarter time but it was all Bulleen Temp from there. Jordan Wise kicked four and three each to Jack Cowell and Justin Khouri saw the home side build a score big enough for a win. The 35 point margin enough keep them a game clear on top. 
This week’s games have an added importance to them for the two sides outside the four simply must win if they want to play in September. Monash Gryphons would have been happy with their efforts at Bulleen Templestowe last week and this week they are back at home to second placed Eltham Collegians. The Turtles were menacing dispatching Prahran Assumption last week but I am going to go for the Gryphons in an upset. 
The other match of significance is fourth versus fifth. As mentioned above these two sides are almost identical in percentage terms and Old Paradians will travel to Therry Penola with a game advantage but I feel that will have evaporated come 4.45 tonight. Only the margin will determine who sits in the four. 
Emmaus St Leo’s host bottom side La Trobe and if the Uni are to make a late charge for safety they would have to win this one. I can’t see this one happening though. And Emmaus should be able to secure a vital win in the bid for their own safety and Division 2 football next year. 
South Melbourne Districts also need to win if they want to play in this section next year, but they wont this week against Prahran Assumption who will want to ensure they are not dragged into the battle to play finals with those team chasing. 
Bulleen Templestowe should continue on their merry way with a win at home to a St Mary’s Salesian in no mans land. They are not safe yet St Mary’s but depending on how results go in the next couple they could be one of those sides that escapes relegation with fewer than six wins. 
Editor Note: Rich Hummerson was away this week and unable to do the report. Your scribes this week was a combination of Olivia Crowe and Andrew Leonard. Rich will return next week.

14.7.12
Hummer’s 7
In the top echelons of football, opposition analysis is big business; it’s a vital ingredient to the success of any AFL club.  Dedicated teams of assistant coaches work 3 weeks ahead, travelling the country to identify every potential match-up and every potential deficiency. 
While the constraints of Division 2 football probably don’t allow for the same money or resources to be allocated to the practice, the attributes of the seven names below will have been addressed at countless trainings and presumably all have their own magnet on the oppositions board.
The below 7 players, who after 11 rounds, have been deemed the most dominant and influential players in the competition. Their names when echoed around suburban football grounds send supporters and oppositions into contrasting frenzies. 

Sabastian Ciavola – Eltham
In stature and appearance, you’d be forgiven if you mistook Sab for a Back-Pocket on the cusp of senior selection. Fortunately for the Turtles, looks are incredibly deceiving. Playing like a man twice his size, Ciavola has pocketed 41 goals this season and not many goal assists. Without ever seeing his hands up close, I can only assume they dwarf Stewie Lowe’s, for his marking ability is unparalleled. 
Kye Cherien – Monash Gryphons
The dashing utility resumed the season in the same stellar form that saw him awarded the best and fairest in 2012. While often attracting a defensive tag, Cherien considers it but a minor hindrance, his speed and agility often leaving the tagger perplexed and unaccountable.  Traditionally a defender, Cherien can be just as damaging up forward with his incredible athleticism and questionable kicking style. 
Sam Autio – St Mary’s Salesian
Many will argue his inclusion is down to one spectacular performance that netted 16 goals, however a quick gander down his stats for season 2012 will quickly quash that argument. Despite a broken collarbone bringing his season to a premature finish, Autio has frequented in the best for St Mary’s and has decimated many a backline. Marry this with his under-18’s NT honours and his inclusion to the illustrious 7 is warranted. 
Adam Sleight – Prahran-Assumption
Joining Ciavola as the second Full-Forward selected, the skipper from Prahran fills the mould of your traditional full-forward. “6 foot 4 and full of muscle” Sleight has been terrorising hapless Full-Backs for years. Instrumental for Prahran in last year’s premiership, the man mountain clunks the pill at will and can kick a Sherrin into orbit. Although age is starting to take its vengeful course, most notably in the speed department, the veteran is still up there with the competitions elite. 
David Boundy – Old Paradians
In my opinion, the captain coach from the city’s North should be leading the competitions best and fairest. While “selflessly” playing himself as a loose man in defence has undoubtedly increased his stocks, his versatility enables him to play on any line on the ground. As a coach, and a player, Boundy is a true student of the game and his name will be forever etched in the history at Old Paradians Football Club. 
James Musster – Prahran-Assumption
Musster plays the game as if he was a player from the 80’s, rugged and ruthless, the stocky midfielder is no stranger to an innocuous jumper punch or tickle across the ribs behind play.  Unlike many of the games warriors, Musster has the skills to match his tenacity; 40-metre stab passes and a strong overhead mark both frequent afternoon delights in his game. 
Elliot Costello – South Melbourne Districts
As the cornerstone in defence for the Bloods this year, Costello has unfortunately been very, very busy. Fortunately for South Melbourne, he has taken the incredible responsibility on his broad shoulders with aplomb, undoubtedly diluting the severity of South Melbourne’s crippling defeats on numerous occasions. Equipped with sensationally strong hands and a raking right foot, the blue-collar defender has all but wrapped up team of the year honours. 
With season defining games and the inclement weather predicted to stay away for yet another weekend, we’re in store for a pearler of a Saturday. In the match of the round, I’m predicting Eltham to run out victors over Prahran, expect the aforementioned players to feature in the best.  St Mary’s will trounce La Trobe, adding weight to Monash’s mediocre performance last week. Monash will get thumped by Bulleen Temp as will St Leo’s by Old Paradians. South Melbourne, although on a high from last weeks resounding win, won’t find the necessary skill to defeat a determined Therry Penola. 
TIPS
Eltham
St Mary’s Salesian
Bulleen Templestowe
Old Paradians
Therry Penola

7.7.2012
IN DEDICATION
The dedication and sacrifices of burgeoning athletes are often widely reported. On the eve of every main sporting event in the world, you’ll always find a double page spread of a carefully chosen athlete in your favourite tabloid, often the one with the most touching background.  Idioms about the daily pre-dawn starts before school and Mum working two jobs accompany a montage of photo’s depicting the athletes incredible rise to potential stardom – and one in school uniform for good measure.
Unfortunately for the less athletically inclined, taking an interest in sport only from their weathered 3-seater, the accolades are not as fourth coming. 
Last week, Jiang Xiaoshan died from exhaustion after reportedly staying up for 11 consecutive nights to watch the Euros. 
Jiang paid the ultimate sacrifice for the sport he loved albeit incredibly avoidable and far less heroic than the customary stories filling our sport pages.  
Despite his undeniable dedication and sacrifice, Jiang received no accolades. There was no feature article in The Herald Sun and there certainly hasn’t been an award established in his honour. A mere mention in the “Oddspot” the extent of his tributes.
So Jiang, on behalf of every athletically challenged, sport mad Couch Potato out there, the next 600 words a dedicated to you my friend. RIP Jiang Xiaoshan.
South Melbourne had Therry Penola and Monash fans alike glued to the screens of their iPhone’s again this week as an unlikely victory for the Bloods loomed over potential finalists Old Paradians. Unfortunately, for the Bloods, Therry and the Gryphs, the story would read as it has countless times before – South Melbourne relinquishing a final term buffer.  While far less severe than the seasons previous transgressions, the Bloods played superbly all day only to see the points awarded to the other corner at games end. Elliot Costello was, once again, unstoppable while Tom McNamara and Seb Mahoney toiled all day. For the victors it was Kane Barry and Sean Miller that impressed the Old Paradian following. 
Are Bulleen Templestowe, spawned from boredom, intentionally toying with their prey before delivering inevitable death? Or, are they reaping the rewards of a brutal pre-season that has equipped them with the legs far superior to anyone else in the completion? Methinks the latter. For a second consecutive week, the Bullants have come from beyond the clouds to collect the 4-points. Leading by 34 points at the final break, victory was all but assured for the newest amalgam in Prahran-Assumption. What transpired for the two-blues in the last term resembled, a Nick Wynne article rather than the all-conquering Prahran-Assumption we’ve all grown to love and hate, surrendering the first 6 goals and the eventual victory to the ladder leaders. Oliver Schmidt, sensational last term, earned him best on honours while Adam Sleight’s 4 goals deserves a mention. 
When Fraser Gehrig started his career at the Eagles, he was a nifty utility, known for his speed and versatility. When he finished his career, he would retire as one of the most decorated full-forwards in St Kilda’s history, Coleman Medals and All-Australian plaques lining his trophy Cabinet. James Ogden originally from Leongatha came to the Monash Gryphons a starry eyed defender, a season in the reserves looming on the horizon. On Saturday owing to a hoard of injuries at Monash, Ogden lined up at Full-Forward in the seniors and akin to Gehrig, excelled in the position in his first outing, kicking 3 in a best afield performance as the Gryphs trounced St Mary’s by 75. Pete Rutherford and Kye Cherien joined Ogden in the best. For St Mary’s it was Brett Gatehouse and Luke Childs that stood tall. 
While La Trobe managed to better the solitary goal scored in their round 1 encounter against Eltham, so did the Turtles, slapping the students back to Bundoora with a 125-point loss in tow. The most mentioned man in the VAFA Sab Ciavola was once again unstoppable and his best mate Bryan Galvin helped himself to a Michelle. For the students, Jarryd Allan was a bright light while Andrew Zaicos tried his best. 
Therry Penola jumped out to an early lead and then appeared to rest and admire their 1st quarter handy work, the eventual margin a petite 12 points at the final siren. The Animals welcomed back Chris Beluszar, slotting 2, playing as if he had never left the game and was joined by Matty McIver in the best. For the Lions, Eugene Benson’s 5 majors was the focal point of discussion on the long car ride back up the Tulla. 
This week see’s Eltham travelling south to leafy Ferndale park where they will leave with the points, hopefully Autio is back from the Under 18 championships to dilute the pain for the Saints. Bullen Temp’s form slump will come to an abrupt halt against Terry while Monash will knock of La Trobe. If South Melbourne can resist the urge to capitulate that might knock off St Leo’s and Prahran Assumption will be too strong for Old Paradians. 
28.6.2012
MUDLARKS THE LOT OF ‘EM
Like most of the VAFA community, before age took it’s vengeful and debatably premature course, I cut my teeth in junior football. 
As a child of the 90’s, if you hadn’t arrived at the ground with your black Puma Kings laced up and your AFL coloured mouthguard in, you looked out of place.
An equally nostalgic trait of junior footy was the mud.
In the days of BD (Before Drought), a culmination of the previous days senior football and horrendous drainage had our mothers reaching for the NapiSan every week. Along with preparing the Lasagne and telling Brendan from across the street to go home, stirring a bucket of filthy footy clothes was a Sunday night ritual.
Last Saturday, after a week of unrelenting, mud-creating rain, we were taken back to the glory days. A time when coloured Football boots were shunned and Newspapers were read. 
St Mary’s Salesian have capped off a month of stark improvement, albeit with a loss, going down to the fancied Therry Penola by a measly ten points. After an inaccuracy plagued start and struggling with the atrocious conditions, St Mary’s found their footing in the third, goals to Autio and Finlay cutting the deficit to 2 points at the last break. Alas for the Saints, their ascendancy would cease in the last verse, Ben Harding and Matty Costello the villains in the Saints Fairytale. 
Among others, the term “impartiality” frequents in the scribe’s code of conduct. Usually, as the perpetual class pet I’m petrified to stray from Fitzy’s (now Andrew’s) boundaries. However, on Saturday I was like a school child proudly showing off his Gary Ablett All-star footy card, feverishly passing around my iPhone on Saturday to anyone and everyone, the live updates from South Melbourne vs. Bulleen Temp illuminating my cracked screen. Unfortunately for the Swans, bias laden, long-distance cheering couldn’t get them over the line, forfeiting their third, 30-point final term lead of the season. Led by performances from Elliot Costello, Hugh Griggs and Seb Mahoney the Bloods were simply sensational up until the fourth term, far superior than their ninth spot would suggest. In the last, it was all Bulleen, South Melbourne unable to fire a shot. The old firm in Rob Edsall and David Follacchio ensured Bulleen would leave the Lake with the points in the bag.
The horrendous conditions did nothing to dilute the might of Prahran-Assumptions all-conquering fist, downing a revived and temporary resolute La Trobe University by 57-points. Forfeiting the first three goals of the match, harrowing memories of last weeks capitulation undoubtedly lingered in the minds of the 4-blues before a dominant third term from James Musster and Paul Donahoo saw a prompt restoration of order. Tim Mayer with seven majors joined best buds Jack Matherson and Nathan Davey in the accolades for Prahran while for La Trobe it was Elliot Kelly and Mark Steele that took the honours. 
Tipping Emmaus St Leos last week has left me with a face covered in Eggs Benedict, the Animals getting slaughtered to the tune of 127 points, unequivocally their worst performance of the year. Leading by 11 goals at the main break, Eltham could have put the cue in the rack. They did anything but. Using the second half as a vehicle to showcase their skills, sending a purposeful message to the rest of the competition in the process. Boasting names in the ilk of Richardson, Ciavola, O’Malley and Galvin, Eltham are an impressive outfit. Add sporadic dominant performances from Lendaro, Chapman, Harper and Brown, and the Turtles will be a near unstoppable force. 
Now that every side has come up against Old Paradians, witnessing first hand how damaging the man mountain can be, I’m expecting to see a significant decline in touches for playing coach David Boundy. Unfortunately for Monash, the past Saturday marked the day they joined the long list of sides dismantled by Boundy, the Monash coaching staff seemingly content to leave him lose across half back. In a scrappy affair, it was Old Paradians that first grabbed the ascendency early in the third term though consecutive goals. From there, they didn’t look back, making light work of an injury ravaged Gryphon outfit.  Dan Giddings and Sean Miller impressed for Old Paradians while Milo Ogden Dan Baxter toiled all day for the Gryphons.
Humbled after last weeks attempts to pick controversially, this week I’m opting for a more cautious approach. Therry to knock off St Leo’s, Monash over St Mary’s and Old Paradians over South Melbourne. I shudder to think as to what Eltham could potentially inflict on La Trobe and in the potential Grand Final preview, Bulleen Temp will right last week’s wrongs, winning comfortably over Prahran.
TODAY’S SELECTIONS IN BOLD
Emmaus St Leos v Therry Penola
Monash Gryphons v St Mary’s Salesian
Eltham Collegians v La Trobe University
Old Paradians v South Melbourne Districts
Bulleen Templestowe v Prahran Assumption

22.6.2012
Quantum-Physics 101

“As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain; and as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality” – Albert Einstein
I certainly don’t claim to be well read in Einstein’s work but I’m reasonably certain I have deciphered what the famous physicist is philosophising. Regardless of how definite an outcome is perceived, it can never be assured.
Unbeknown to Einstein’s philosophy, last week I endeavoured to rectify my pre-season’s predictions. With a sense of conviction, I penned the final standings at seasons end, 8 rounds in and I was certain I had it right. 
The confidence in my ability to analyse Australia’s favourite pastime was eroded with every text message containing the final scores on Saturday, upset after upset slowly filtering its way through.
While I may need to find a new career path, the great news for the competition is that it’s anyone’s to win.
Five weeks ago, a trip to Ted Adjani would send shudders down even the most optimistic of competing teams. 5 weeks ago, Emmaus St Leo’s were, winless, languishing in the depths of the ladder and starving off relegation predictions. Fast-forward to R8, and the tale reads vastly different. While the Animals didn’t get the points last Saturday, they were anything but disgraced, a lamentable slow start the only reason for the 26-point differential at game’s end. Stellan Avramidis capped off a great month of footy with a best afield for the all-conquering Bullants and the old firm in Nathan Baranello and Anthony Ballard stood tall for St Leo’s. 
Old Paradians continue to make a firm case for the illustrious and highly contested fourth rung with a monumental 10-goal final term guiding them to a 71-point win over La Trobe University.  In arguably their best performance of the season and trailing by a mere 14-point lead going in to the final verse, a maiden victory loomed for La Trobe. Unfortunately for the students, David Boundy wasn’t having a bar of it, ending with 7 goals in a best on performance. 
Therry Penola couldn’t find the legs to stay with Eltham, forfeiting five goals to one, in a contested affair at Eltham College. Boasting the largest ground in the VAFA, the Turtles were superb in the last, running all over an exhausted yet defiant Therry. Sab Ciavola has well and truly put his early season woes behind him, slotting 6 majors and Tim Wood helped himself to 3 goals and 35 touches. For the impressive Therry, it was Ben Harding and the ever-consistent Jarrod Egglestone that impressed. 
Carlton and Collingwood. The Red Sox and the Yankees. Monash and Prahran-Assumption. It’s taken one and a half years, but the Gryphons have finally taken a scalp in arguably the greatest rivalry in the VAFA, strolling home comfortable winners by 49 points, seriously announcing themselves as finals contenders in the process. In breezy conditions at East Caulfield Reserve, the Gryphs led from post to post, beating Prahran in all facets of the ground, a once unfeasible task. Gomizel was outstanding all day, standing toe-to-toe with Adam Sleight and winning my unanimous decision in the process and Tim Madden joined a horde of impressive Monash Players. For Prahran, it was the form of Nathan Davey and Troy Booth that mollified the loss.
St Mary’s Salesian and South Melbourne brought traffic on Glen Iris Road to a standstill as they played out our first draw for 2012. Giving up the first 3 goals of the game in quick succession, a dim day loomed for the St Mary’s and wasn’t until a casual four goal burst from Sam Autio late in the first term that order was restored. Trailing in the last quarter, St Mary’s gained ascendancy through consecutive goals from Jos Op’T Hoog, Scott Gatehouse and David West. As time on ticked over in the last, trailing by 13, all looked lost for South Melbourne but two sensational goals and a carefully timed behind ensured the points would be split, players and fans alike leaving the ground invigorated. 
THIS WEEK: accompanied by my good friend vacillation, I’m selecting the much-improved Emmaus St Leo’s over Eltham. Monash will march into the four with a victory over Old Paradians while Therry Penola will make light work of St Mary’s. Closing out the round, Bulleen Templestowe should win comfortably against South Melbourne and Prahran-Assumption will keep La Trobe winless. 

EMM STL
MON GRY
THERRY
BULL TEMP
PRA ASS

15.6.2012

TAKING STOCK
Let’s be honest, amid fishing trips, romantic sojourns and perhaps one too many XXXX Golds over the Queen’s Birthday weekend, recollections from the games a fortnight ago are probably a touch sketchy.
As an eternal opportunist, I’m going to beat my biro wielding, scribing counterparts to the punch, and recap the season so far, amending my preseason outlandish statements in the process. 
Before we can proceed, I must make mention of one incredible performance from before the bye: I speak none other than the extraordinary 16-goal haul from St Mary’s Sam Autio against St Leo’s Emmaus. After battling inaccuracy issues all season, the powerhouse was finally on song, clunking the Sherrin at will, at times with 2 or 3 defenders sitting in his hole. When he had the ball, he could do no wrong, only registering a mere 4 behinds with his 16 Goals. And most importantly, St Mary’s got the points. Well-done Sam!
Perhaps deservedly so, Bulleen Templestowe wasn’t given a hope this season. The club was seemingly in tatters coming off an unspeakably poor 2011 and double relegation seemed inevitable. Unbeknown to this dotting scribe, the club, while keeping nearly the exact playing list from the season prior would undergo an incredible transformation over the pre-season. Unmovable timber up forward in Justin Khouri and Kristian Cherbakof will see the Bullants finish 1st at season’s end. 
Old Eltham, while still predicted to finish in the top four, were underrated at season’s start. Boasting a ground with similar dimensions to the MCG, their home advantage is undeniable, and should see the Turtles finish 2nd this season. Marry this with Sab Ciavola and his regular hauls, a sleek midfield and arguably the strongest back six in the competition and Eltham make for a potent contender. Should Bulleen Templestowe show a minor chink in its armour, could the Turtles be the one to knock them off?
Emmaus St Leo’s join the increasing fold of understated teams at season’s start, an impressive upset win against the Monash Gryphons and a remarkable final term against South Melbourne the cornerstones in their 2012 portfolio. Possessing some handy stocks in Christopher Beluszar and Tom Foreman, St Leo’s should do enough to avoid relegation.  
In contrast to underrated St Leo’s and Bulleen, Monash’s predicted top four finish seems to be grossly inaccurate. The 2011 finals series leaves no doubt that the Gryphons can win when it matters, but unfortunately for the lads at East Caulfield Reserve, wasted games against St Leo’s and Therry will hurt them at season’s end. Despite names in the ilk of Cherien, Davies and Mackie, Monash will find it tough to find a seat on the finals train. 
Prahran-Assumption’s 2012 campaign got off to a surprisingly shaky start. Coming off one of the most dominant seasons in VAFA history, the Four Blues were earmarked to shoot straight up to Div1 in 2013. Unfortunately for the opposing sides the football that is synonymous with Prahran-Assumption has been on display since R2, and I suspect the rematch against Bulleen Templestowe will yield a far different result. Too many all-stars to name, so I won’t.
Unfortunately for South Melbourne, a spell in Div 3 next year seems likely. Crippled by list changes and injuries, the Bloods haven’t been able to compete with most of the competition this year. Fourth quarter capitulations have only heightened the severity of their impending doom. While a gallant effort against Eltham just before the break will provide hope for the South Melbourne faithful, I can’t see them chalking up enough wins to starve off that “R” word.
An inconsistent start to the season at St Mary’s Salesian sees them above the drop zone, but only just. One week, the Ferndale Park residents are kicking 20 goals and coming away with the points, the next week, they’ve kicked 5 and lost by a tonne. Sam Autio is the key here: if they can get him the pill and providing his suspect kicking action doesn’t have the crowd standing on the forward pocket boundary cowering, they should stay up in Div2 this season.
 As the only side to knock off the dominant Bulleen Temp this year, Old Paradians will be the side to round out the top 4. Their predicted 1st place finish was probably a touch audacious, but David Boundy and his merry men have the recipe for finals success. They’ve slayed the dragon once, no reason they can’t do it again, perhaps in the last game of the season. 
La Trobe University, winless after 7 rounds, the odd vanilla performance standing out between a peppering of worse than mediocre performances. It goes unsaid. 
Therry Penola will join St Mary’s, St Leo’s and Monash in the middle of the table. The chance of relegation is no more likely than the chance of competing in finals. Boasting players of the ilk of Jarrod Egglestone and Matty Costello makes for worrying signs for opposition, just not this year. There are too many better sides occupying rungs 1-4. 
TIPS
PRAHRAN
ELTHAM
South Melbourne
Old paradians
bulleen

2.6.12
Perfect No More
The 2000 Essendon Bombers are, and will always be considered arguably the greatest team in AFL history. Boasting players in the ilk of Smokin’ Joe Misiti, James Hird, Matthew Lloyd and Damian Hardwick, the Bombers were coasting along to become just the second team in VFL/AFL history to complete the home and away season undefeated. 8 days from the close of the season, on an unusually balmy Friday evening, a left-foot snap from Western Bulldog Chris Grant shattered the aspirations of a blemish free season for the dons. While they would go on to win the premiership 4 weeks later, conceding that one solitary game in 2000 continues to haunt the Essendon faithful to this day.
The sentiment of a perfect season may not be as profound, nor the consequences as dire but 12 years on, in a competition a few grades lower than the top echelon, a side has been looking to repeat the feat that Essendon came so agonisingly close to in 2000.
Bulleen Templestowe, with names like Cherbakof, Pace and Khouri had been untouchable this season, disposing of teams at will, the dreams of a perfect season snowballing with each victory.
Hosting Old Paradians this week, the match should have been a formality, a mere stepping-stone in their quest for magnificence. But akin to that fateful Friday night in 2000, David Boundy and his merry men proved the villains in Bulleen Temp’s fairy tale inflicting their first loss of the season by 15 points. Daniel Giddings was absolutely sensational for the visitors, assisted by good mates Luke Dore and Sean Miller. For the now defeated Bulleen Temp, Rob Edsall and Oliver Schmidt tried all day.
Emmaus St Leos exacted the biggest upset of the round, dismantling an undisciplined and inaccurate Monash at Bennettswood Reserve by 15 points. Buoyed by an astonishing final term last week, St Leo’s matched the top-4 hopefuls Monash in all facets of the ground, a fracas and subsequent goal at half time the only reason for the Gryphons slender lead at the break. St Leo’s all but put the contest away shortly after the main break, piling on 4 unanswered goals and an unassailable lead in the process. Christopher Beluszar dominated all day; kicking 5 goals and sending the female fans crazy with his carefully and regularly oiled biceps. For Monash, Kye Cherien was back to his best and fairest ways and Ivan Nuguid is relishing the move down back. 
The news of a faltering Bulleen Templestowe added elation to Prahran-Assumption’s 71-point drubbing of St Mary’s Salesian, percentage now the only differential between the two powerhouses at the top of ladder. Skipper Adam Sleight was once again unstoppable, adding 8 goals to his season total of 29 while the usual suspects in James Muster and Matty Pell were sublime for the victors. Sid Jones, Nick Curwood and Nick Baum did their best to negate the lead for St Mary’s.
Therry Penola stayed in reach with the top 4 after a narrow win against an improved La Trobe University at John Pascoe Reserve. La Trobe desperate to elevate themselves off the floor of the competition and Therry determined to throw their hat in the ring for finals contention, the contrast between the two sides should have been far greater than the 8 points at games end. La Trobe, now a shadow of their early season mediocrity, managed to stay within an arms length of the better-drilled and superior Therry Penola throughout the day, only relinquishing the game in the dying moments of the fourth verse. Jack McMeel slotted 4 goals in his best performance of the year for the students while Matthew Costello did one better, helping himself to a Michelle for the victors. 
Rumours that South Melbourne Coach Anthony Quon put his men through a week of water boarding and mild electrocution surfaced during the week on the back of 2 consecutive fourth quarter capitulations. While the severity of punishment has probably been inflated, a gruelling week on the track saw South Melbourne compile the best final term of their season, outscoring Eltham 7 goals to 2. Trailing by 44-points at the last break, deservingly so, the bloods were without a chance. After the break, Seb Mahoney was given the 50-metre arc as his canvas in and the artist got straight to work, slotting 3 unanswered goals in quick succession giving South Melbourne the faintest of heart beats. Alas, a late steadier from the Turtles would ensure no fairytale would ensue, the Turtles eventual winners by 13 points. Kevin Tutty joined Sebastian Mahoney in the best for the Bloods while Sabastian Ciavola responded to criticism, slotting 7 in a best afield display. 
Looking at this week’s games, I’m selecting Therry Penola over an out-of-sorts Monash Gryphons and Emmaus St Leo’s to continue on their merry way with a comfortable win over St Mary’s. The confidence from last week’s win will help guide Old Paradians to victory over Eltham and Prahran Assumption should make light work of South Melbourne despite 3 players in Finn Tiernan, Gary Simm and Marko Stefanidakis celebrating their 100th game for the Bloods. Closing out the round, Bulleen Templestowe will firmly assign the bottom rung to La Trobe University.
26.5.12 
FQF 
Fourth-quarter fadeouts – Around footy clubs, that double-hyphened phrase is as welcome as Lord Voldermort at Hogwart’s. Well unfortunately for players, coaches and fans alike, an undoubtedly explicit laden version of the aforementioned was mentioned at all five games this week. As the injury lists grow and the emergency list dwindles, the once minuscule doubts about the shortcomings of the past pre-season turn into sleep-depriving life-encompassing issues. Every torn hamstring, every cramped calf and every surrendered lead encourages the dreadful "what if" in the minds of our beloved coaches. Plans to implement a forward press in next week’s game make way with searching for twin back pockets and a centre half forward. The dream of a finals berth is lost in the ever-rising sea of fourth quarter fade-outs and inaccuracy plagued halves. And it’s only R6. 
Even the most nonchalant of Division 2 supporters will have identified a worrying trend at the South Melbourne camp over the past 2 weeks, as they, for the second consecutive week managed for forfeit a 4 goal, final term buffer. With club stalwart Andy Hannan marking the pill as if he had borrowed the mitts of Stewie Loewe for the day and Elliot Costello finding possessions at will, the Bloods managed to build a presumably unassailable lead going into the final term. Wayward kicking and flaring tempers soon had harrowing memories of the previous week’s capitulation flooding back into the minds of the South Melbourne players and as if in an attempt to better last weeks efforts in the deplorable stakes, the Swans handed St Leo’s five final term goals, and the four premiership points. Ryan Harding and Declan O’Hehir were sensational for Emmaus St Leo’s. Upon request, no South Melbourne players will be named in the best this week. 
Prahran-Assumption seems to have put its early season woes behind it, notching up its fourth win in a row against Old Paradians at Garvey Oval. With hardly a kick separating the two sides all day, it was yet again a dominant final term from Prahran-Assumption that saw them over the line by 38 points. Competition leading goal kicker Adam Sleight was instrumental in the final quarter ascendancy, adding three goals to his total of four and first gamer Liam Hunt impressed those that matter. For the home team, David Boundy and Luke Dore were among the best. 
Boasting the largest second-half fade out of the week, St Mary’s Salesian have joined the seemingly now fashionable second half fadeouts fold, going down to Eltham by 106 points, despite being at a forearms length at the big break. Travelling from one of the VAFA’s smallest grounds to the arguably the largest, fitness was always going to be a concern for the Saints, add Sam Richardson and his seven goals and the poise of Bryan Galvin and it’s an almost impossible task. For the Saints it was captain Brett Gatehouse, Nick Baum and Sid Jones who ensured the margin wasn’t doubled. 
It wasn’t until the last that Monash could pull away from an inspired and resilient La Trobe University, slotting six majors to run away 29-point victors. Exchanging blows all day; neither side could pull away in a scrappy affair at East Caulfield Reserve. With only four points separating the two sides at the last break, a disappointed Monash coach Jock McDonald unleashed one of the more memorable tirades, with reports it was heard by an elderly couple at a popular Camberwell eatery. Impressive final quarter efforts from Kye Cherian and captain Matthew Fletcher ensured the spiel wasn’t repeated at game’s end. For the travelling team in La Trobe, Thomas Harding and Bart Thompson joined Dale Mackie in the best. 
Therry Penola were another victim of the 4th quarter fade out, going down to competition leaders in Bulleen Templestowe by 37 despite trailing by a mere 7 points at the last break. With little more than a bee’s appendage separating the two sides all day, a potentially unlikely victory for the lions loomed. Unfortunately for the travelling side, Bulleen Templestowe had the legs to ensure victory and the spotless season maintained. Kristian Cherbakof slotted seven in a best afield performance for the Bullants. Jarrod Egglestone likewise for the Lions. 
Christiano, the friendly Italian accountant had an incredibly successful maiden week of tipping, had it not been for South Melbourne’s capitulation, he would have tipped the card. Accordingly, I have wandered on down to his cubicle again this week for some much needed guidance. He predicts Bulleen Templestowe to keep their perfect season alive with a comfortable win over Old Paradians. The Monash Gryphons will win comfortably against St Leo’s while Therry Penola should take the points against the students. South Melbourne won’t get the chance to blow a lead against Eltham for they’ll never have one and Prahran Assumption will account for St Mary’s Salesian at Toorak Park. 
19.5.12 
Footy tipping is a peculiar practice. If we forget to register our tips we’re filled with anxiety and regret. When we do register our tips, we’re filled with even more anxiety and regret. Yet week in week out, every single season, like a homing pigeon in a Sunday morning competition, we return to our vice, stewing for minutes (some hours) on our tips, when we well know, that at seasons end, it will be the Scottish Accountant on secondment that takes home the 300 clams and a box of Cadbury Favourites. While my Division 2 tips faired marginally better than my deplorable efforts in the big league, this weeks results has me no closer to allocating rungs 2nd to 10th. Unlike a Policeman issuing a speeding ticket, I take great consideration and caution before handing out the much-maligned "Cellar Dweller" title. Sleepless nights and cold sweats usually accompany its deployment. So imagine my dismay upon the news that St Leo’s dismantled the students at La Trobe University in a potentially season defining victory. From post to post, St Leo’s put on a previously unseen football display to stride home comfortable 76-point victors. Paul Baranello and Anthony Smith were sensational for the Leo lads. For La Trobe, amid arguably the clubs darkest days in recent times, Ryan McMinn and Andrew Zaicos provided a solitary candlestick worth of light. 
Prahran-Assumption weathered a late surge from Therry Penola to post their intentions and their third win of the season in Coach Ashley Mills’s first return to Therry Penola since his sensational defection to the Four Blues at the end of the 2011 season. A marriage of undisciplined play from the Combine and some tenacious play from Therry in the last quarter reduced the four goal plus lead that separated the two throughout the day to seventeen points. It wasn’t until mediation from the old firm in Adam Sleight, Nathan Costin and Matt Pell that the Prahran-Assumption faithful could breathe a sigh of relief, eventually winning by an inflated 31 points. 
In the quarrel of the round, Bulleen Templestowe made light work of debatably their only realistic contenders, defeating Eltham to the tune of 44 points. Exchanging blow for blow in the first stanza, the prospect of a tight contest had the strong crowd licking their lips. Unbeknown to the punters, Bulleen Temp would negotiate the handy breeze better than their hosting counterparts, putting together an unassailable lead half way through the Third. Benjamin O’Malley was back to his absolute best for the Turtles while Reece Bux is standing tall during Sab Ciavola’s form slump. For the Bullants, Kristian Cherbakof, with his 4 goals in tow earned best on honours. 
The Gryphs have a hint of swagger back in their step after bouncing back in emphatic fashion, triumphing over St Mary’s in an inaccurate yet dominant performance at the picturesque Ferndale Park. Led by former Oakleigh Charger Sam Sheehan, Micky Davies and Phil Gomizel, the Gryphons applied a stranglehold from the outset. While unforced errors plagued the visiting side similar to that of Sam Stosur at the Australian Open, the inevitable gap between the two sides opened up half way through the third, the eventual margin, 48 points. South Melbourne surrendered a 16 point final term buffer to go down to Old Paradians by 6 points in a heart-breaking defeat at home. A dominant second quarter from the Bloods put them well in front at half time and with the scoring end in the last, an unlikely victory loomed. Enter David Boundy and his God-given ability to deliver speeches in the ilk of Pacino, Williams and Washington. While the Paradians camp have remained tight lipped regarding the content of the speech, whatever it was, it worked, gifting Old Paradians the four points and launching them into the top quartet. As I premised at the start of today’s article, I have decided to heed my own advice, and wandered on down to the finance department for this weeks tips. 
Cristiano, an Italian national, with little or no knowledge of Australian Rules, let alone of the VAFA, has provided me with the following predictions. Let’s see how he fairs. Ladder leader BT will continue their blemish free season with a comfortable win over Therry Penola at home. The Gryphons will make light work of La Trobe University at East Caulfield Reserve, Isaac McCallum to kick 8. Unfortunately for St Mary’s, Eltham seem destined to bounce back with vengeance, no prisoners taken here. Prahran, who are slowly but surely displaying titbits of last seasons form will account for Old Paradians while South Melbourne should keep St Leo’s winning streak to one. 
12.5.12 
Step aside: it’s our turn! 
It was only a mere three years ago when wet-day football was all but extinct. The slower, more wholesome players found the going tough, while the taller, athletic players flourished, clunking the pill at will, sending their stocks soaring akin to Microsoft shares in the 80s. Through some procrastination-spawned research, I have since learned that Australia is currently experiencing a La Nina event, which in layman’s terms, translates to a whole lot more wet weather footy. So, like me, if you have a frame that falls under the "wholesome" umbrella and you have a centre of gravity lower than a Mini Cooper, our time to prosper has arrived. For our genetically gifted 6-foot plus teammates, step aside; you’ve had your go. 
La Trobe University has finally freed itself of Maiden status after a strong second half to defeat a disappointing St Mary’s Salesian at home by 20 points. Boasting arguably one of the best playing surfaces in the competition, the first half was peppered with skilful passages of play and free flowing movement despite the inclement weather. Grasping a narrow first half lead, the Saints were unaccountable in the third and final terms, kicking a miserable two goals to the Trobers’ seven. Jack McMeel’s 5 goals in the wet proved instrumental for La Trobe while David West and Sid Jones performed admirably for the Saints and will enjoy the forthcoming wet weather this season. 
Emmaus St Leo’s remain the only side without a win in 2012 after a heartbreaking 2 point loss to the resilient Old Paradians at Bennettswood Sports Ground. Leading all day, and with a six point buffer going into the final stanza, players and fans alike started warming the vocal chords for the first belting of the song. Whispers coming out of the St Leo’s camp have it that a new recruit, upon realisation he had no idea what the song was, came to the bench to ask a club stalwart for assistance. Alas, the scrambling was in vain, a resurgent Old Paradians, trailing all day, led when it mattered. The Baranello brothers were sensational for St Leo’s as was Thomas Foreman. For the victorious Paradians, it was Warren Jeffrey and Wayne Connelly who impressed. 
Seemingly content with their newfound underdog status, Prahran-Assumption prevented the Turtles from raising their colours for the first time this season, running out comfortable victors by 27 points. With little more than a kick separating the two sides all day, it took Adam Sleight’s size 13 Puma King and some handy work from James Musster to blow the game open in the final term. Joining his skipper in the best for the four Blues, full-back Jack Matherson kept the ever-damaging Sab Ciavola goalless. It begs the question, "beat Ciavola, beat Eltham?" 
Bulleen Templestowe has further cemented its position as ladder leader with a comprehensive drubbing of Monash in atrocious conditions at East Caulfield Reserve. Despite rain falling for the entirety of the match, Bulleen’s skills and tenacity never wavered, proving too much for the top-heavy Gryphons. Similar to the family cat with an innocent field mouse, the Bullants toyed with their prey, before delivering inevitable death, slotting 9 unanswered goals, and creating an unassailable lead in the process, running out eventual victors by 73 points. Justin Khouri, colloquially known henceforth as "The Titanic" was too strong for the Monash defenders, slotting 4 and Anthony Lucisano appeared to have his own footy. For Monash, it was Clint "The Butcher" Mackie and the feisty Adrian Flowerday that were marginally brighter lights than the rest. Out in the wild, if a swan and a lion meet, you’d probably put your pennies on the Lion to come up trumps. 
While it wasn’t the great plains of the Sahara, the battle at John Pascoe Reserve on Saturday had a very similar result, Lions taking the chocolates to the tune of 18 points. Closely fought up until the last 10 mins of the match, South Melbourne led by Josh Lambert and Elliot Costello managed to stay within arm’s length for the majority of the match. For the Lions, it was the Costello brothers and Eugene Benson that ensured Therry would stay in the top four. 
Similar to every week, and probably more as a guise to shelter my own self-esteem, I tip with hesitation again. In the game of the round, Eltham hosts ladder leaders Bulleen. While the Bullants will find the VAFA’s largest ground difficult to negotiate, they should still take the points. Monash should re-join the winning fold this week against St Mary’s, if it doesn’t, I shudder to think of the consequences. Prahran-Assumption should account for Therry easily while La Trobe will firmly stick the Cellar Dweller label across St Leo’s forehead. Rounding out the week, South Melbourne will have a resounding win at home against Old Paradians.