Four doesn’t go into two.

That’s the simple equation ahead of Premier B’s final round, with third and fourth place on the ladder wide open and four teams jockeying for position with a weekend to go before the music stops, and the finals-playing positions are decided.

Caulfield Grammarians have a one-game hold on third place after running up the score against the Hampton Rovers, improving their percentage by nearly 10% in a 128-point thumping.

With the VFL home-and-away season over, the Fields’ cause was aided by North Melbourne pair Ollie Lowe (40 disposals, nine clearances) and Matt Clarkson (32 disposals), Bullant Patrick Fairlie (37 disposals, 7 clearances) and Sandringham’s Josh Hutchings (22 disposals, three goals).

Julian Dobosz joined the party with seven majors, as did Coburg defender Ingo Dammersmith, also booting seven (as recorded by Premier Data) in his first VAFA game of the season.

“We’ve had such a settled backline all year, we’ve been really fortunate,” explained Fields coach Paul Satterley of Dammersmith’s use up forward.

“There’s two motivations, one, he’s coming back to help us. Two, I wanted him to come back and have a little bit of freedom for a week.

“He probably gave five (goals) off. He could’ve kicked ten easily.”

Aware of their poor percentage relative to other finals aspirants coming into the game, Satterley confirmed the coaching group had aimed for a boost when coming up against the Rovers.

“We were one of only two teams yet to have played Hampton twice, we probably saw it as an opportunity with a really strong side … to work on that side of our game, and we were able to capitalise,” he said.

“Whatever happens next week, it could come down to percentage. I thought we achieved what we set out to do.”

Coming up against the top-of-the-table Ts this weekend, Cauflield’s finals fate is in their hands: They can seal their place in the four with a win or draw, but if they lose, wins to both Old Camberwell and Old Carey (the Panthers must also overcome a 2.62% percentage gap to the Fields) will see the Fields miss.

There is an urge to ruminate over the outcome of Round 18, sure to break hearts across the VAFA, but for Satterley and his coaching group, it’s about preparing their chargers fully for the challenge Old Trinity will provide at Glen Huntly Park.

“There’s a high level of confidence in the group. We look forward to Trinity,” said Satterley.

With its fifth win in a six-game run, Old Camberwell extinguished Old Geelong’s finals hopes (outside of a mathematical miracle) with a six-goal-to-two final quarter, riding a season-best haul of eight goals from Liam Thomas to win 14.13 (97) to 9.11 (65).

In a game that was tight and close into the final term, scores were tied within the first five minutes of the last – the Wellers skipping clear with two quick goals to Thomas and another to Lachie Harker.

Old Geelong’s Mickey Nicholls ran in his third goal at the 16-minute mark of the quarter, tightening the margin to two goals, but Old Camberwell surged again. First David McColl feasted on a kick-in error to re-establish ascendancy, before Thomas kicked his seventh and eighth goals – one from a tidy set shot, the other moments later courtesy of a rolling snap along the carpet – and finished off the game.

Coach Neil Connell and Thomas himself post-game cited “first-rate” supply from the Wellers’ midfield group – Thomas led well to kicks allowing for his launch and was highly sought after in one-on-ones inside 50. With 54 goals this season, he leads the goalkicking title from Williamstown CYMS’ Zach Provest (41).

“I’ve been a bit critical of our disposal and our decision-making at times in the past,” said Neil Connell, “but I think it’s all starting to come together, and in the last quarter it all came together.”

“We were challenged in the third quarter again, but we were able to hold steady and kick away in the last.”

In fourth place, level on points with fifth-placed Old Carey but 7.47% clear, the Wellers will tie up a top four spot with a win over Williamstown CYMS this weekend – unless the Panthers were to run up an almighty score and win in their match against the OGs, thus overtaking Old Camberwell on percentage.

It’s an unlikely proposition – meaning there’s history awaiting the Wellers this weekend if they win at home.

“The club’s really excited that we’ve got an opportunity (to make finals) – the president said to me that it’d be the first time Old Camberwell has ever played a B-Grade final in club history,” said Neil Connell.

“Our destiny’s (been) in our own hands from three or four weeks ago. We’ve got to keep winning, and everything else will take care of itself.”

The Wellers’ win effectively ends the OGs’ September hopes. From 9-8, they can draw level on points with 10-7 pair Old Camberwell and Old Geelong with a win over the Panthers next week – but while they can leap over the Panthers, the OGs won’t catch the Wellers’ percentage, which is over 15% better than the OGs.

Critical to these matters is the fact Old Camberwell plays Williamstown CYMS – also at 9-8, but with a near-16% advantage on the OGs. Should the CYs beat Old Camberwell, coupled with an Old Geelong win over Old Carey, it would be the CYs on percentage into fourth place.

Put simply, the percentage chasm is too wide for Nick Dixon’s men to cross. It’s been a year of improbabilities in Premier B – the OGs would need a near impossibility to manifest itself.

“(It was a) game that we never really got going,” lamented Dixon.

“A lot of that was down to Old Camberwell’s pressure and work rate all over the ground. We battled hard to stay with them for three-and-a-half quarters, but just didn’t have the legs to stay with them. Still really proud of our group and how we’ve attacked the year.”

It will be club stalwart Will Sloss’ last game this weekend, the 31-year-old’s 13-year career coming to a close against the Panthers on the road.

“An absolute legend of Old Geelong dating all the way back to 2013 and as beloved character as there has been,” said Dixon.

“The boys getting to play with him one final time will be motivation enough.”

Old Carey’s out-pacing of Fitzroy after half time at home created its own win-and-your-win scenario, with a catch.

The Panthers play Old Geelong in Round 18 but it’s likely they’ll need Old Camberwell or Caulfield Grammarians (or both) to lose in their respective matchups to play finals. The Fields (with a game and 2.62% on Old Carey) are within reach in third place, given they play top-of-the-ladder Old Trinity. Fourth-placed Old Camberwell are also on ten wins, but have a 7.47% advantage, meaning the four points on their own this weekend won’t be sufficient for the Panthers.

“I’ll be honest, I hadn’t looked at the ladder much this year, apart from the last ten days. Now I’m blinded by the excitement of the whole thing,” laughed Old Carey coach Luke Giles.

There was trouble in the first half at the home of the Panthers. Giles cited a “lack of urgency” to cover the ground from his players in the second term, which allowed the Roys to control the flow of the footy. Leading by just four points, Giles’ half time message was strong.

“They (Fitzroy) took 45 uncontested marks in the second quarter,” Giles said. 

“At half time, (it was about) coming together and making sure we were on the same page and aware that that level of defensive pressure, and a willingness to allow the opposition to take 45 uncontested marks won’t get it done against Old Geelong, or in a final.”

The Panthers responded, kicked six goals to one in the third term, reduced the Fitzroy uncontested mark figure substantially and continued on to a 16.13 (109) to 8.12 (60) win.

“We’ll have to play better than we did on the weekend if we’re going to play any significant part in the finals … we just need to go out (next week) and make sure we’re a 20%-better side that would allow us to beat an Ivanhoe or Trinity, or whoever else it is,” said Giles.

Daniel Clarke kicked four goals and Luke Kelvie (29 disposals and a goal) was good on return from his time at Coburg VFL.

Laird Ramshaw, who has featured for Footscray VFL this year, kicked a pair of goals from his 31 disposals for Fitzroy, Riley Kelly worked hard on his wing, while Jacob Bourke and Angus Evans led a youthful backline.

“In what has become a bit of a theme for us we had a red-hot crack and were right in it at halftime,” said Roys coach Travis Ronaldson.

“We failed to finish off some of our good work however, which proved costly in the second half. 

“There were some good signs though and I thought we looked good when we were able to control the tempo of the game in patches.”

The last of the finals aspirants is Williamstown CYMS, which needed to win and win well over Old Melburnians to keep the candle flickering at the weekend – and did.

Breaking a four-game losing skid, including two heartbreakers in the preceding fortnight, the CYs increased their advantage at every break over the OMs, 21.17 (143) to 12.5 (77) victors to give themselves a chance of featuring in September.

“What we wanted to do was make sure we played better for longer, and that’s what the focus was at half time … not resting on our laurels because we have a comfortable lead,” said coach Con Terzoglou.

“Trying to play close to four quarters was one of our driving factors for the weekend.”

Jordan Busuttil (34 disposals and 13 clearances) returned from Essendon VFL in fine form while Werribee VFL forward Harry Miller (23 disposals and seven goals) dominated inside 50, combining seamlessly with talls Zach Provest (five goals) and Ayden McCarroll (two goals). 

“It’s like his (Miller’s) game has been sharpened from spending 10-plus weeks at VFL level,” said CYs coach Con Terzoglou.

“That’s exactly what you want out of it – you’ve got a guy who’s showing improvement from that next level of exposure, and then to come back and work within his team and the structure of the forward line, and then complement it. It was magic, to be honest, between the three of them.”

One game back from the Wellers (who they play this week) and Panthers, the CYs need to win, and for Old Carey to lose to Old Geelong, to make the four. A win would send Terzoglou’s team to a positive record of 10-8, the club’s best record in Premier B since arriving in the grade in 2021.

“Amazing for us, and a great launching pad for next year. We’re hoping (for finals), but we’re cognisant that we’ve also blown our chances. It’s about finishing strong, and (with) a positive record,” said Terzoglou.

“Full credit to Williamstown, thought they were first class – some high-quality players across all lines (and) a few VFL lads who ripped it up,” said OMs coach Nathan Brown.

“We competed well for long periods, with lots of new faces and opportunities which is definitely a positive as we’ll continue to look into the future.”

Old Trinity has known its top two destiny for a little while now, but after defeating Old Ivanhoe in a second semi-final preview the Ts are the favourite to take the minor premiership in 2025.

A win or draw over the Caulfield Grammarians will seal first place for Donald McDonald’s men, a game clear atop the Premier B table after defeating the Hoers 10.11 (71) to 8.11 (59). It’s a second win of the season over Old Ivanhoe for McDonald, although the margin has drifted closer since Round Nine’s 37-point win.

“It’s an interesting one, when you know you’re going to play the team in two weeks’ time, but I still think it’s a really good opportunity to play against a good side – you’re looking at the competition, coming into finals, and as far as we’re concerned, finals have started,” said Ts coach Donald McDonald, with the Fields to follow the Hoers this weekend.

In an arm-wrestle of a game where neither side shirked physicality, Boston Dowling ripped down a contested grab just outside of the square in the dying minutes, kicking truly to give the Ts a game-deciding 11-point advantage. 

With Charlie Beasley one of a few Old Trinity players returning over the recent weeks, there’s healthy competition for spots that will give McDonald and his coaching group headaches in the lead-up to Saturday’s game against Caulfield.

“They’ve (Caulfield) been really good this year – they had a lot more scoring shots than we did when we played them at our ground. I think the boys know it’s going to be a really tough game.”

Hugo McGlashan had 34 disposals for the Ts, while for Old Ivanhoe, Toby McLean (30 disposals and a goal) was good on return and young gun Trent McManus kicked three from 19 disposals.

It was a great contest … two teams that knew the end result had no bearing on the first week of finals, but it wasn’t played that way,” said Old Ivanhoe coach Jarrod Gieschen.

“Both teams had a real crack and it was a good four-quarter contest. When the game was there to be won, Trinity stood up and their experienced players did what they had to do to get the win. They deserve to be on top of the ladder and they are a very talented and well-drilled team.”

In Round 18, the Hoers will round out the home and away season against the Hampton Rovers while the Fields host the Ts, the Wellers host the CYs, the OGs travel to take on Old Carey and Fitzroy play Old Melburnians.